My baby was a fussy, teething mess today. So, I did what any normal Mama would do ... found ways to distract and distract again. 😆 But, as inconvenienced as this walk was to my laundry day, it was exactly what my heart needed.
With our state under the threat of Dorian’s wrath, I’ve been anxious, like so many, waiting for the north-shift to happen so I can breathe a little sigh of relief. While, I obviously don’t want Dorian to wreak havoc on anyone, I think it’s a natural Floridian reaction to breathe deeply when you know for sure that your home isn’t under a direct threat.
Backstory: Over the last few months, I’ve missed my home. Missed our neighborhood, our street, “my” house. And, sometimes, for me, living in a rental can feel stuffy and not “homey,” knowing it’s not ours forever but just a place we’ll soon be leaving Jace’s first steps in and our girls’ first day of school in.
It has been causing both excitement and angst together as we move closer to our lease ending in December. Almost making me anxious with not knowing what our next steps are yet. Do we stay? Do we go? Our plan was to move by the end of the year. But, God’s plan? I’m reminded over and over again ... it’s not always the same.
As trivial as it sounds, I haven’t ever really loved this home. Found happiness and made it “Ruth Family Friendly”? Yes. But, love it? Ehh. Not as much.
So, when I saw the video, right before our walk, of the Bahamian Mom pleading desperately for prayers while waiting in a flooding apartment with her 4-month-old, my heart broke into a million pieces.
Here I am, missing what once was, when this poor woman pleaded for hers. Her home. Her life. Her baby’s life. Her community. What a weird mix of emotions that is ... I’m grateful for the sparing of my community, yet, heartbroken for hers.
I was reminded on our walk, while looking at the beautiful sky, with a massive, heartbreaking storm looming directly east of us, of the very cliche, but very true statement ... “it’s not the house that makes a home. It’s the hearts inside that make it meaningful.”
And, for that reminder, I’m grateful.
I can’t change what happened to that poor Mama and to her family. To her home. 💔 But, I can offer empathy and supplies and massive amounts of prayers. Above all, I can promise her that I will be focused on gratitude for mine, every last bit of it, as she completely lost hers. I can only hope, that if our roles were reversed, she would do the same for me.
So, to turn this negativity I’ve been feeling around ... here are three beautiful things about renting:
❤️ the coziness of living close together again on one floor
❤️ the cleaning of an entire house in just a few hours
❤️ the creation of more family togetherness with only one room to lounge in
These are what I need to remind myself to focus on. 🥰
So, with that, I’ll still be praying tonight for that north-shift to happen. That communities are spared. And homes are saved.
Because, every Floridian knows the angst and anticipation that only a hurricane can bring. A devastating one at that. And, if you’re in the line of fire tonight, know that my heart is hurting for you ... for your fear and for the unknown ...
I’ll be thinking of you.
And, more specifically, I’ll be praying for your home. 🏠❤️